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Undue Attention
When your child is asking for help with things you know they can do when they’re acting like a stand-up jokester and commanding attention when they repeat a negative action that you’ve reprimanded them for a trillion times that they KNOW is not right. You’re dealing with the mistaken goal of Undue Attention!
You will know that the behavior is backed by the belief that “I don’t matter unless you’re paying attention to me” when you feel annoyed, frustrated, worried, guilty, or irritated.
- Coded message: “Notice me, Involve me usefully”
- “Will you please hand out these papers, set the table, etc”
- “You will have some time to tell your funny joke at the family meeting!”
- “Will you be in charge of the family meeting?”
F.A.Q.s
When the child is actively trying for your attention you can give them your full attention. You get down on their level, give them eye contact and say you really want to show me ____ or you really want me to play ____, when I am finished with _____ I will help you. You can give them something like a watch to show them when you will be finished so they can relate something to your words. Repeat as needed.
Create Your Ideal Family Dynamics with Me
In 6 weeks we will explore daily problems and turn from struggle cycles to growth and problem solving. These classes will help you process thoughts, feelings and emotions in an effort to shift perspectives from punishment to discipline.
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